Maggie’s Approach: EFIT Therapy for Exhausted Parents

May 26

Parenting is one of the most rewarding roles a person can have—but it can also be one of the most emotionally demanding. Between caring for children, managing a household, working, and supporting everyone else's needs, many parents find themselves running on empty.

Over time, it's easy to fall into a pattern of putting yourself last. You may push through exhaustion, ignore your own needs, or suppress difficult emotions because there's simply no time to deal with them. While this approach can help you get through the day, it often comes at a cost. Stress builds up, emotional overwhelm increases, and you may find yourself feeling disconnected from yourself, your partner, or even your children.

This is where Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) can make a meaningful difference.

EFIT helps people understand and work with their emotions rather than pushing them aside. Instead of focusing only on managing symptoms, EFIT explores the deeper feelings and needs underneath stress, frustration, guilt, anxiety, or burnout. It helps parents make sense of their emotional experiences and respond to themselves with greater awareness and compassion.

Many parents who overwork themselves aren't doing so because they're trying to be perfect. Often, they're driven by a deep desire to care for their family, avoid disappointing others, or provide their children with opportunities they may not have had themselves. These motivations come from a place of love, but they can sometimes lead to chronic self-sacrifice.

Through EFIT, parents can learn to recognize these patterns and develop a healthier relationship with their emotions. As they become more connected to their own needs, they often find it easier to set boundaries, communicate openly, and remain emotionally present with the people they care about most.

The goal isn't to become a perfect parent. It's to become a parent who has the emotional resources to care for others while also caring for themselves. When parents feel more grounded, connected, and supported, the entire family can benefit.

Sources

Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT)

Johnson, S. M. (2019).
Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families. Guilford Press.

The primary text describing EFIT and its attachment-based approach to helping individuals access, process, and transform emotional experiences.

Wiebe, S. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2016).
"Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy: An Attachment-Based Experiential Approach to Depression."
Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 46(1), 11–19.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-015-9315-8

Discusses how EFIT helps individuals engage with underlying emotions and attachment needs.

Emotional Suppression and Well-Being

Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003).
"Individual Differences in Two Emotion Regulation Processes: Implications for Affect, Relationships, and Well-Being."
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348–362.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.2.348

Found that habitual emotional suppression is associated with lower well-being, less authentic relationships, and poorer emotional functioning.

Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010).
"Emotion-Regulation Strategies Across Psychopathology: A Meta-Analytic Review."
Clinical Psychology Review, 30(2), 217–237.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.11.004

Shows that difficulties with emotional processing and regulation are linked to a wide range of psychological challenges.

Parenting Stress and Burnout

Mikolajczak, M., Gross, J. J., & Roskam, I. (2019).
"Parental Burnout: What Is It, and Why Does It Matter?"
Clinical Psychological Science, 7(6), 1319–1329.
https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702619858430

Defines parental burnout and examines its effects on parents and families.

Roskam, I., Raes, M.-E., & Mikolajczak, M. (2017).
"Exhausted Parents: Development and Preliminary Validation of the Parental Burnout Inventory."
Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 163.
https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00163